"JESUS"

     The year of 2013 is a year, I will never forget an a year, I hope, to never forget. Though painful as it was, that year I learned to lean on God, found strength from Him, and was blessed  though some of the most tiny things that let me know that yes, God was hearing my prayers. Unknown to many people I would say this year, 2013, was one of my darkest years. There are times I almost think about the pain in the side of my face, but I have yet to continue the thought in my head, for the fear I might just experience or I guess remember the pain enough that it might show its ugly head. I always catch myself and quickly redirect my thoughts. To some this may seem silly, and to have physically looked at me at that time, you may have wondered what I even was talking about.

    To do a short sum up of that year, after about six months of left sided ear pain I woke up on Jan 7, 2013 with severe pain to left side of my entire face. Has anyone ever experienced a "Trollyhorse" in their legs after a run??? Well, that was what I  had in the side of my face continually for ten whole months! Sometimes the spasms would last up to 2 hours with out any relief.

     The Outcome? About 35 therapy treatments. 50 plus injections, numerous oral medications , 2 mouth braces, no food, very little talking and very little sleep. In April 2014 I was finally released from the doctors care and doing great. The physician and staff that treated me, cried with me and encouraged me not to give up, will forever be in my heart. I also know, they too where sent to me from God, for a week before I walked into that office, I had went alone to the alter one afternoon at my home church and on my knees I prayed for His guidance to send me to the right place. God had already that week randomly sent a stranger to me with the same experience, who later became one of my closet friends and a great sister in Christ. The encouragement she provided me to keep going each day and the prayers she said for me and with me is something I will never forget.- May God have all the Glory!

    I tell you this because I never want to forget where I was and why I am where I am now. I had reached a place in the dark time where I serious considered and somewhat planned to end everything, but I will tell you the one word that got me through those dark times was "JESUS". That is all I would say over and over and over in my head, I knew He would get me through that spasm, just like He did the last one.

     I spent a lot of time in prayer and a lot of time in scripture. I spent a lot of time reading about Job and all he endured and continued to stay faithful to God. I spent a lot of time reading of Paul and how he had a thorn in the flesh and how he had come to terms with it.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10New King James Version (NKJV)

9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This verse was read by me to remember that not only is God my Strength but He is also in control.

Isaiah 41:10New King James Version (NKJV)

10 Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

I can not tell  why or how I stumbled upon this verse that year, other than I know God lead me to it and this one was repeated many times as well.

God  says here "Yes, I will help you". These five words rang over and over in my head. 

   I tell you all this for His Glory, He did not just see me through the pain, but He taught me, He prepared me, He strengthened me in so many ways, I don't know how to even share them all with you. All I can do is make sure He receives the praise. He allowed me to share Christ one day to a close friend and lead her to salvation and she is today one of my strongest sisters in Christ. We speak of Him daily, we speak of His blessings each day no matter how big or small they may seem to some. But to us, it fills our hearts with such peace and emotions. To look back now and see how God moved that year in me and others around me at that time, today it is amazing to see how He is using those same people in my life today. The blessings I have received this past year and the doors He has opened and the doors He has closed, I know now, He was preparing me in the year of 2013 for what lied ahead. For so many reasons I thank Him for the experiences in 2013. If I had to choose it over again I would not change a thing. The friends I made and  the lessons He taught me......... I can only hope to never forget and always always give Him the praise.